Friday, June 11, 2010

Do I have the problem?

As a Christian I feel that giving is such a part of being the person that Christ wants from me.

I have reached a point to where I would prefer to oft times give to a total stranger than give to people I know. Let me explain, seems like there is always a shower for a new baby or some one is getting married, or perhaps a birthday...all of these occasions a gift is the thing to do.

Here is where the problem occurs: I expect a thank you - in the form of a card, telephone call, face book contact, e-mail, or in person. When this does not happen, I feel like I have been used. It makes me feel less like giving when the next gift giving time happens.

Sounds petty, doesn't it?

Not all people are this way...there is a older lady that goes to our church who lives on her social security and we all know that does not go very far...so from time to time we will give her money to spend just how ever she wishes...she is so excited and pleased - and you can bet your bottom dollar she will send a thank you...tell you what she bought when she sees you...and then proudly show you when she wears it to church.

It seems the younger generation feel like they are entitled to the generosity of others - older people are much more appreciative.

What are your thoughts on this subject?



Amelia

14 comments:

Hazel said...

I agree with you 100% some people are really thoughtless and unfortunately they seem to be family members .Maybe because they are family they feel they shouldn't have to say thank you .I love doing for others but if its not appreciated I don't do it a second time and when i get asked why I tell the truth .A thank you is all I ask .

Renee said...

I sort've think it is a generational thing...I know my parents never taught me to write thank you notes. I don't know many people my age who do?? So they don't teach their children. I try to always send some form of thank you and I am trying to teach my children the same thing. I know I could do better. I totally understand where you are coming from, though. It's nice to know that your thoughtfulness was appreciated. You're right - too many people today feel they are entitled to everything. It's pretty sad.

Darlene said...

Oh, I so agree with you. There are SOOOO many ways to thank someone (as you mentioned) and there is no excuse not to. It is a couple of VERY simple words that mean so much. I even get irritated when I hold a door for someone and they just breeze by me without saying a word. I have gotten where I usually (very politely and with a smile) say "you're welcome" and then I usually get oh, thank you. People are seeming to get ruder and ruder or maybe their parents just aren't teaching them. You better believe Lexi is getting taught!!!!!

Jen said...

I'm in total agreement with you I feel the same way!
Sending a thank you note is not old school; it's common courtesy.

Marilyn said...

Oh, Amelia. I SO know what you are talking about. Sometimes I just wish they'd let me know they got my gift. Esp. if I send money. Not a word though. Very annoying and I feel funny asking if they got it. I am considering just sending cards from now on.

Michelle said...

Oh Amelia, I totally agree, and I feel the same way you do. Often times, we give, even when we can't afford it. I remember a niece who graduated. We gave her money, she left the next day on a trip to New York with her class, and we never got an oral thank you, or any other form of thank you. Goodness! I haven't even been to New York!

Sometimes, I think some people cry hard times, so you will help, as they know their sad stories will tug at your heart. Yes, we think that is what God would want us to do, so we give, and then we find out, maybe, they didn't really need it so badly.

Do you know what I have found out with people? The ones who REALLY need it, never mention the state they are in, or how tough times are. God usually shows me who needs it, and when I do help, the receiver is shocked that I even knew. They will tell me, 'I have been praying for an answer, and here you are. How did you know?'

You are not alone, my friend. I totally agree. You are not asking too much to be appreciated...and for me, appreciation and a thank you is all I would like.
be blessed,
Michelle

Michelle said...

I heard on tv last week about how people nowdays are less 'personable', and the blame is going to television time, video games, texting, internet corresponding.... electronic communications. I say that's a bunch of hogwash. It's a sad thing to see common courtesy go out the window.

Amanda said...

I completely agree with you, but I have to say that although my sons were brought up to send thank yous they rarely remember now, unless I remind them. Whereas my nieces always send beautiful thank you letters. My sons are happy to telephone to say thank you though, or send an email or text. I'm learning to appreciate thank yous in various forms, but I'm old enough to still prefer a letter.

Victoria said...

I'm with you! :) My Mom always made us write thank you notes but as I've gotten older I find that very few people practice this.

I had my Amelia sit down yesterday and write "thank you for my gift" and draw pictures for individuals that gave her a birthday present.

Not only do I think the person will appreciate the note, but I so want to teach her to be thankful! She is not owed ANYTHING in this world and I want her to be appreciative for the things she is given.

KyQuiltlady said...

I agree, people should let you know in some way the gift is appreciated. I worked a week a few years ago quilting a quilt on my regular machine for "Relay for Life" and never even heard who got the quilt, how much they made from sales, or got a card. I NO LONGER SUPPORT THEM. Also gave one as a wedding gift and the couple left the wedding without even opening it, although I did get a Thank You card. These were queen size quilts.

Stacey said...

I've always written thank you notes and make my boys do them also. I have to tell you though, if it weren't for me nagging they probably wouldn't. They just don't seem to get it.

Halcyon said...

I don't think only older people know how to say thank you. I was taught to always say please and thank you to people in shops, etc. And I always send a thank you card when I receive a birthday gift or such. My parents taught me that was the right thing to do.

I'm sorry if you feel that your generosity is being taken advantage of. Giving brings such a wonderful feeling.

julieQ said...

I totally agree with you. When effort was made, there needs to be appreciation, and also a thank you...just the right way to be. I "hope" I taught my son this...I sure drummed in it his head enough!

Judi said...

Happy 4th Amelia
I know what you mean. Sometimes some gifts are expected and you are right about how you feel if someone doesn't take the time to say thank you....I also know you don't give the present because you WANT to be thanked it is just you give it as a kind or good gesture and you hope that people will appreciate it that way...and express how they feel. Its not so petty.

You know how special that lady at church feels when she unexpectedly gets some money or gift...being restricted in the things she can buyh on her own must make whatever amount she is given absolutely wonderful! I can just imagine how she feels. That is so sweet.

I hope you have had a lovely weekend..
Judi